Opening Ceremonies, 5 p.m. : Jim Hendry will be carried into the Grand Ballroom of the Chicago Hilto

Here is the unofficial schedule for the Cubs Convention starting today at the Chicago Hilton.  As you will see, there is a little something for everyone orlando international airport thristy rent a car to enjoy not enough that the thing will actually sell-out, but as mismanaged as the Cubs have been over the past several years, this level of malaise was inevitable.
Media social, 3 p.m. : Chicago media will be asked to take a loyalty oath upon entry. orlando international airport thristy rent a car  They will ask members of the Cubs front office questions from a preapproved list, such as, The Cubs will obviously be better this year.  How much better? . The Matt Garza trade obviously served the needs of both the Rays and the Cubs.  How much better will the Cubs be because of that deal? and Jim, have you lost weight.  You look fantastic!
Opening Ceremonies, 5 p.m. : Jim Hendry will be carried into the Grand Ballroom of the Chicago Hilton like a Arab sheikh by Mike Quade, Carlos Zambrano, Aramis Ramirez, and Carlos Silva.  Fans will be encouraged to feed fried chicken legs and fork fulls of mac and cheese to Hendry as he passes, but make sure to keep the food and your fingers away from Silva s mouth..
WGN Sports Night, 7 p.m. : Tom Ricketts, Jim Hendry, Mike Quade and several players will be interviewed by WGN s Milt Rosenberg.  Milt will ask Hendry about the parallels between his tenure as GM and the failed policies of the Warren Harding presidency before being sedated with a vial of Propofol by media relations director Peter Chase.
Ricketts Family Forum, orlando international airport thristy rent a car 9 a.m. : All four of the Ricketts will be on hand to answer questions about how the phone call went between Tom and his father when Tom told him that $64 million in cash of the money he made after founding and running TD Ameritrade went out the door to fund the opulent lifestyles of Alfonso Soriano, Kosuke Fukudome, Aramis Ramirez, and Carlos Zambrano.  Laughter ensues when Ricketts tells the story of his Dad s meltdown after mentioning Carlos Silva s name at the family s Thanksgiving dinner.  The family now calls Pops Rickets Colonel Frank Slade .
Meet and Dunk Cubs Management, 10 a.m. : Hendry and Quade are featured along with Greg Maddux.  This year Hendry and Quade will be questioned while in matching dunk tanks.  Maddux will hit the target of the questioners choice for a $20 donation to Cubs Care.
Pitching Evolution, 10:30 a.m. : John Grabow, Jeff Samardzija, Jeff Stevens, and Thomas Diamond will school youngsters in how to make it to the major leagues and stay there without ever throwing a strike.  The presentation will be followed by hand-on instruction where kids will win prizes for avoiding the target.
Future orlando international airport thristy rent a car of Cubs Facilities (or the fleecing orlando international airport thristy rent a car of Illinois taxpayers) 11 a.m. : President Crane Kenny and others talk about the future of Wrigley, the Triangle Building, and the development of profitable infrastructure built at the taxpayers expense in order to make a silly hobbyists investment start to look smart before Daddy Deep-pockets goes all Joe Kennedy.
For Kids Only, 11:30 a.m. : Carlos Zambrano and Alfonso Soriano lecture school children about the perils of mental illness, and how early intervention can prevent dugout fistfights, injuries due to fights with inanimate water coolers, hopping a foot in the air to catch a routine flyball, and the chewing of sunflower orlando international airport thristy rent a car seeds like a wood chipper.
The Q Factor: Manager Mike Quade talks about how being excessively peppy and a favorable schedule led him into a seat he may or may not be ready to fill.  He ll pay homage to former skipper Lou Piniella by revealing his plan to take a quick nap every time the grounds crew drags the infield, and how rotating every position player through the leadoff spot is the way to overcome not having a leadoff hitter.
Battery Talk, 12:30 p.m. - Geovany Soto and Koyie Hill discuss the relationship with the pitchers along with Carlos Zambrano and Tom Gorzelany.  There is a good chance that Gorelany will be traded during this presentation, so get there early.  Zambrano has promised to re-enact his fistfight with former battery mate Michael Barrett just to remind orlando international airport thristy rent a car Soto who s boss.
On the Road with No. 10, 1 p.m. : Nothing like stories of a hairless, legless, orlando international airport thristy rent a car diabetic former ballplayer whose dream of being enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame was never fulfilled to leave a crowd laughing.  Still too early?
Meet Cubs Business Management, 1:30 p.m. : WGN s Dave Kaplan hosts Kenny, orlando international airport thristy rent a car marketing chief Wally Hayward, Senior orlando international airport thristy rent a car Director orlando international airport thristy rent a car of Facility Management and Information Technology Carl Rice and others for a discussion of business matters.  The other 29 teams routinely orlando international airport thristy rent a car send their front office staff to this seminar.  They scribble notes copiously, and when they get back to their offices, do exactly the opposite.
Jim Hendry Book Signing Doughnuts and Profanity , 3 p.m. : Hendry and venerable Chicago scribe Bob Verdi will discuss their collaboration on Hendry s career orlando international airport thristy rent a car as a foul-mouthed sugar-addicted sloth whose consistent overpayment of mediocre talent has been responsible for doubling the Dominican Republic s GDP.
The 25 Club, 9:15 a.m. : The younger Cubs discuss the unbelievably cool lifestyle they enjoy on the road and in Chicago as members of a team known for being lovable losers.  Being a wealthy, athletic ballplayer evidently has its perks as attendees will discover.  Great pickup orlando international airport thristy rent a car lines will be discussed such as, You know, we ve lost every season for 102 years.  I don t want to be alone, You like money?  If Jim Hendry is given a contract extension, I m buying Trinidad AND Tobago! , and Can I see your ivy?   A slide show of the top line pieces of ass in every town will be on display throughout the symposium.
You forgot the River North Distributing/Budwiseer Sobriety Test challenge for the tipsy retiree ushers that take their job way too seriously, and hassle 3 year olds to sit down while they sip their not so cleverly hidden beer under the stool.