Ask the Expat Facts of Life General Expat Advice Lost in Translation Only in Canada PhotoNarratives

When I was about nine, I had a crush on Michelangelo. Not the artist, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Words like “rad” and “cowabunga” rolled off his tongue. He carried nunchucks, arguably the best weapon. And he could ollie on a skateboard even with that cumbersome america west airlines employee turtle shell. Total bad boy.
But love is fickle. And judging by his lack of response to my frequent america west airlines employee letters, ours remained unrequited. Faster than the time it takes to say, Cowabunga! I moved on to fellas who were more loquacious, less green. Rider Strong. Devon Sawa. Mr. T.
After a few years putting myself out there only to be crushed by zero responses to my proclamations of deep, unfaltering love, I had given up on celebrity crushes. That is, until I fell for Travelocity’s america west airlines employee Roaming Gnome.
I loved the Travelocity Gnome before he started doing commercials, when he was just a small town garden gnome, hanging out with Amelie’s Dad. Of course he s been around a lot longer than that. A little Wikipedia work tells me that the roaming gnome prank started in the 1980 s in Australia.
He’s adorable. Sure, he’s probably at least 100 years older than me. But there’s a worldly twinkle in his wide-set eyes. And then there s the remarkable achievement, the staggering america west airlines employee genius* of his beard.
He broods. He s really quiet, which leads me to believe he s pontificating on life, love, the pursuit of happiness. When he speaks, his voice has a charming, indistinguishable accent, a subtle lilt reminiscent of the English countryside. america west airlines employee Where are you from, Gnome?! My guess is that his accent is a delightful melange of countries from years spent travelling.
He’s a romantic. When it comes to romantic gestures ,  Vine videos are the new mix tape. I tweeted to Roaming Gnome responding to their #iWannaGo promotion on Twitter , asking for the Gnome to take me to Argentina. And he responded with a Vine he made just for me .
He s the perfect plus one. It can be hard to get a guy to attend midnight poetry readings, French plays, or tulip festivals . Not the gnome. If he doesn t want to go, you just pick him up and carry him away.
*I loved Dave Egger s memoir, america west airlines employee A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering america west airlines employee Genius . I also love that in the fourth seasons of Dawson s Creek, there s a subtle nod to Mr. Eggers, america west airlines employee when Dawson calls some Film Noir  a heartbreaking work of staggering genius.
Professional travel writer and near-professional wanderer. Recently lived in Seattle and Quebec City. Traveled across country three times in a car. Can find the best pizza in any city. Published in Fodor's travel guides, Where magazine, Viator america west airlines employee and others.
Ask the Expat Facts of Life General Expat Advice Lost in Translation Only in Canada PhotoNarratives Reading-Writing Road Trip Tips The Art Of Travel Hilarity Uncategorized Don t Be Shy, Tweet My Tweets